1 October 2008


Posted by Dirk under: been drinking; musings .

His name was Jeff Freeman but he was always Dundee to me.

And I want to write something but I don’t know what to write.

So, I’m gonna drink until that barrier in my brain breaks down and the words flow.  Fuck work tomorrow.

I’ll probably cuss a lot in this post so if that bugs you, get lost now.

I don’t know what to write and I’m afraid of somehow writing something about him that will sound all fucked up to somebody else, but…

I was playing Lord of the Rings Online with a couple buddies and I had the other computer on and I looked over and refreshed the forums and saw that Janey had posted something new.  I went and read it and she said that Dundee was dead.

And something skittered across my brain, like a ricochet.

“Wait” I said in our guild chat.  “Dundee is dead”.

They asked for details but I had none to give them.

And we kept playing for a little while.

But I was distracted and kept clicking around on the internet on my other computer and eventually I logged off.

And I went in and lay down next to Doro and just laid there for awhile until she asked me what was wrong.

I told her I had bad news. A friend of mine had died.  I tried to explain about Dundee.  My voice was fucked up though cause I had this giant tear drop cloggin my throat and I was trying to talk without releasing it and I wasn’t entirely successful and it’s still there and I have to let it out tonight or it’ll rot and fester inside me.

Background for you ignorant motherfuckers that might be reading this:

Way back in olden times there was a game that was unique and special and it was called Ultima Online.  It was pretty much the first of it’s kind. And it was great.  I was enamored with it for quite some time.  Eventually I grew weary of the cheaters and scammers though and looked about for an alternative.

On the UO newsgroup there was a guy named Dundee that posted a lot.  He was smart.  I liked reading his shit.  I never commented on it though.  He had lots of other people that responded and interacted with him and I just read him and was amused and chuckled to myself.

Then one day I read a post by him in which he said he was starting a UO emulator shard and was looking for players.  I didn’t really know wtf he was talking about but I sent him  an email asking him if I could play on his free UO shard ( I was super fucking broke at the time. I mean, I was pretty much living in my van broke)

Jesus, I hate tequila! Even the expensive stuff tastes like shit.

And he emailed me back and said sure, I could play on his shard.  I set up my computer with the stuff I needed and logged on to The World of Dreams.  And it was cool.

I won’t get into all the things that were cool about WoD and later Ackadia, I’ll just say that it was a really great experience for me and I met a lot of really great friends (many of whom I’ve only known online, just like Dundee) and I still chat with many of them on my forums.  And I’m fuckin crying again here.

It’s weird I’m crying over a guy I never met.  And he probably thought I was a goober.  I never was tight with the man or anything.  I interacted with him quite a bit during the WoD days but since that all went south I hardly ever talked with him directly.  I’d still go to his blog though and read the cool shit he posted and sometimes I commented and one time I commented and I noticed that when I commented I had an icon and instead of a generic icon my icon was an ACD puppy and that really meant a lot to me for some reason and maybe that’s why I’m crying.  fuck.

Maybe I’m crying cause he fucking killed himself and it just kills me that he did that. I’ve been at that ledge myself several times so I ain’t giving him shit for making that choice.  For a long time it was only the dog this website is named after that kept me around.

I just wish he hadn’t.  I wish I had been a cooler dude when I posted a comment on his site and maybe that would have been enough to keep him from taking that plunge.

Fuck Dundee… damnit.

This wouldn’t be so fucked up if you had been hit by a car or killed by terrorists or some shit like that.

I need another shot.

And I was a seer on WoD, basically a dungeon master guy, I made quests and shit and tried to help people have fun and I complained once that us seers didn’t have good enough tools and Dundee was bugged by that and we had a few heated words and I’m sorry dude.  You did a hell of a job.  I shouldn’t have said that shit.

tht picture up ther of Antonio Banderas, tha’s sort of a private joke.

4 Comments so far...

Magus Says:

1 October 2008 at 9:17 am.

The community member pictures from WoD. I remember, I remember.

Crowgirl Says:

3 May 2009 at 2:49 pm.

Dirk… as in Dirk the Daring? aka Oberon and Tobin of EQ? I just found about Dundee a couple of weeks ago when I looked him up on my Facebook and decided to try google. It hit me like the Balron that I met as a newbie with Dundee and Shade ages ago in a land called Sosaria. I am still musing. And crying. He was such a powerful good entity. All worlds are at such a loss without him. TNO, green grass and high tides forever… Crowy

Dirk Says:

3 May 2009 at 9:44 pm.

Nah, I never played EQ, that must have been somebody else.

Glaeken Says:

15 July 2009 at 6:04 am.

Very sad to hear this about Dundee. He was a real leader in UO, he and Shade were the heart of TNO, it was never the same after they left. My condolences to his friends and family. Glaek

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